For the Goddess is Dead
by YellowDog262
Summary: [AU, NoeHopu] At the end of time and the world, Caius and Yeul are granted their eternal rest. They sleep peacefully now in the Chaos while a new God of Death watches over the Unseen Realm. For the Goddess is dead and someone must take her place in the Unseen Realm. Loosely connected one shots in the New World and the Unseen Realm.
1. Walker of the Realm Unseen - WotRU

Summary

At the end of time and the world, Caius and Yeul are granted their eternal rest. They sleep peacefully now in the Chaos while a new God of Death watches over the Unseen Realm. For the Goddess is dead and someone must take her place in the Unseen Realm.

* * *

Notes

Fair warning there will be allusions to death and suicide but never explicitly described. Suppose you would already know the drill concerning Chaos etc.

* * *

Noel had made it. He made it right to the shores between life and death. The same place where he had first met Etro's guardian. The woman who very nearly became the new goddess. On the brink of complete exhaustion Etro had brought him here as if telling him to not give up yet. This time Noel came by choice, it wasn't fate or an accident.

He always came by choice and he was always forced to leave.

One time he was prepared to chain himself to a pillar but he wasn't sure whether it would help. After all there was no time limit to being reborn again but most people didn't have memories from their previous lives to even think about the choice.

This time he found himself lying by the shore once again basked in the faint glow of the Unseen Realm's light. He heard a shuffle and felt the sand beside himself shift. His lips curled up into a smile, the God of Death was here and this time Noel had a different plan to stay

'You're stupid.' The God said.

'How many more times are you going to do this? You have a life, lives to live. Stop wasting them.'

Noel stood up, stepping a way for a moment to shake the sand off his body.

'The real question is how many times are you going to ask me that question?' Noel countered, the God sink his head to knees.

He looked strangely small this time. Wearing garb reminiscent of those given to Etro's chosen complete with an opaque shimmering gold cape littered with stars that didn't appear to befit a God of Death but a man who dreamed of saving the world.

'You can't stay here. No matter how many times you ask, no matter what you do to try and stay. I will not let you.' The God said hotly.

'I'm not asking, I'm telling you.' Noel turns around to face the light, reaching for the distant pull of Chaos. He hoped that if he absorbed enough it would stop him from being reborn. After all it can't be good to run around with so much Chaos, considering what had happened to the last world. There was also the chance that he could be consumed and thus his soul lost in the sea of Chaos.

He walked back over to the God and kneeled down to bury his face in his hair, hands slipping around his shoulders.

'I hate you.' It sounded wet like the first time he'd said it.

Noel pressed a kiss to his head before walking away. He knew each time he came back it hurt him more and more. He just needed to make his residency permanent.

The trip to the dead Goddess' throne was short. There was no need to rush in a place that had no time but he did, the sense of urgency came quick, igniting like fire, pushing him to run the distance. He didn't realise he was gasping for breath until he found himself staring at the stone floor.

The Chaos felt thicker here, the concentration unchanging around the giant crystal that used to be Etro's own throne. Noel moved swiftly up the broken stairs, only to pause as he heard whispers. He spins on his heel looking around wildly for the source. He thinks to call out the God's name but he hears the whispers again, then a voice of a girl.

'Are you sure about this? There is no going back.' She said.

Noel sighed in relief. The voice was unmistakeably Yeul's but he wasn't sure if it was the Chaos speaking or her. Had both Yeul and Caius' souls returned to the Chaos and finally found peace? Noel would have to ask later.

He makes the rest of the way up and sits down, making himself comfortable by placing his hands on the armrests. He closed his eyes.

He felt doubt beginning to creep into his voice as he spoke.  
'My mind's made up. If this is the price I have to pay to stay with him, then I'm prepared to pay it.'

'For someone whose soul may be lost you don't sound very sure. You already know that he is changing, the person that you once knew may disappear completely in time.'

'He...He's acting as if this is his salvation but it's not. And this...this is the only way.' Noel frowned, it sounded like a question.

When he opened his eyes again he saw Yeul standing in front of him, fiddling with a blue bellflower. She appeared the same as ever from his memories, happier times in a dying world. He wondered if this Yeul was the one he knew or a different Yeul from a time they hadn't met.

She looked at him, smiling softly.

'If this is your salvation.'

Noel's mouth felt dry as he closed his eyes once more, trying not focus on the distant cries of his name.

* * *

End Notes

[Cross posted on A*3]

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	2. Teste Mustus Mundus: Prologus - TMM

**Prologus I**

* * *

Summary

Even through the destruction of Nova Chrysalia the previous world has a lingering presence in the New World. Tales of a cracked moon in the sky and those entrapped by God's servants have yet to be told.

For the Goddess is dead and those memories cannot be left to fade.

* * *

Notes

And so Noel witnessed the New World...

* * *

When Noel woke he felt as if his head was stuffed with cotton. The ceiling he opened his eyes to felt familiar but yet he couldn't really place where he was. The sunlight wasn't hindered curtains, illuminating the room in a soft orange glow. He sat up, one hand pushing away the thin duvet and looked around the room.

This is his room, he knows this. He knows there are photo frames and various souvenirs on the windowsill if he pushes the curtains away. He knows that if he were to open the bedroom door it would lead right into a hallway and on the right there would be a door leading to the bathroom. He knows that he lives on an island away from everyone he once knew.

That didn't make sense. How could he know that he lives away from everyone when he doesn't know who 'everyone' is?

Noel sighed and walked over to draw back the curtains. He frowned looking at the pictures adorned in simple frames. Picking up the furthest frame on his left he tried to place the memory of the event. Noel was in the centre, his arms slung around the shoulders of two other people. The boy on his right was grinning widely whilst pressing his head to Noel's, while a girl on his left was suspended in laughter, eyes crinkled with delight.

'Hope?' He questioned.

Noel gasped as he dropped the frame, his hands shaking. Why did he say that? Who was Hope? He felt something bubble up in his throat and clenched his fists trying to get a grip of himself. Sliding down against the wall he fisted the fabric of his pyjamas, clutching his chest.

The strength of the sun seemed burn him rather than warm him it was suffocating and relentless. He remembers trying to keep potted plants in the house. Without fail the flowers always died even in his pursuit of trying to grow bellflowers. The blue ones were always the first to die. He remembers a friend asking him why he was so obsessed with them but he doesn't remember his answer.

The second night he remembers everything, his old life in two different times, his new life on the island seized from the Almighty Bhunivelze and the achingly long lifetime spent in a world without time. It's well into the night when he awakens, distraught as to why he had forgotten. Did he bury those memories away? Or had he convinced himself enough that he didn't remember anything from his past life? Noel shifted in his bed trying to recall the events of the final days. He was in the New World. Everyone that had their soul collected by Lightning was here. Caius and Yeul wished to take Etro's place in the Unseen Realm but that didn't happen. Instead they were able to rest, they had found their salvation. The many Yeuls who wanted to live and the many who wanted to die are together with Caius in the Unseen Realm, at peace.

Noel sat up, letting out a shaky breath. Hope took their place, took Etro's place. He remembered trying to grasp his hand, how small it looked, the way it didn't hesitate. Hope never reached back. Serah and Lightning had taken hold of his hands then guiding him back to the group.

Noel decided Hope was stupid.

Noel dressed lightly and made his way down to the beach. It appeared that in his new life he still held a fondness for the sea, so much so that he owned a small boat and fishing equipment. He hummed to himself thinking about how Serah would scold him for even thinking about doing something so reckless. She didn't know that even Snow had vaguely thought about it once upon a time.

Noel knew what he was going to do was selfish. Selfish for the sacrifice that Hope and others made so they could all live in this New World. He decided that Hope needs to be selfish and told him rightly so during a trip to Academia. Hope then had brushed him off, telling him he didn't have time to be selfish any more. When he pushed further, Hope retold stories from the aftermath of his time as a L'Cie. Everyone around him had quickly disappeared and when he heard that Snow had gone off to find Lightning, Hope ran away from home to conduct his own search. His father had found him not long after, battered and bruised from fighting the inhabitants of Pulse without his L'Cie strength. He had made his father worry, the one person who had stuck by his side after he was released from stasis.

During that time the world didn't need to be saved any longer. Lightning was gone but Snow was searching for her. Sazh was finally reunited with Dajh, and he was helping rebuild the world with his skills as a pilot. Even Serah who was worried about Lightning stayed in New Bodhum to teach the children there. NORA, along with Serah had created New Bodhum a place the people of Cocoon could call home. Vanille and Fang were trapped in crystal, they needed saving. His father, who was helping build a new life for everyone, needed him.

Noel had then asked if it was selfish to save everyone even if it meant you'd be killed in the process. Hope had responded with a swift, 'there are something things in life you just do,' and turned his head to sky.

He pulled the boat from its place in the sand dragging it towards the shore. Once he was close enough he counted to three and pushed the boat further into the water before wading in himself and boarding the boat. Noel began to paddle, maintaining a steady pace as he leaves the island behind. He deems himself to be out far enough when the lights emitting from the island appeared to turn into fuzzy blobs.

Placing down the paddle he perches himself on the edge of the boat looking down into the water.

'It's not a matter of can or can't, right Hope?'

He dives.

* * *

End Notes

Will the island Noel lives on ever have a name? Tune in next time same ba-  
Who knows?

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	3. To Where You Are: Abyssal Love - WotRU

**Chapter 3: To Where You Are – Abyssal Love**

* * *

Summary

For the Goddess is dead and someone must take her place

* * *

Notes

Special days are still excuses

* * *

When Noel had awoken he was once again lying by the shore. A corner of Hope's cape tickled his cheek when he turned his head. Soon enough he was following Hope to the pillars, grinning all the way and knelt down beside him as he etched another mark. He watched Hope carve the mark with care, his brows furrowed in concentration. Noel looked at him expectantly but hadn't said a word since he arrived. Noel smacked his forehead realising Hope wouldn't know.

'I keep forgetting, no time and all.' Noel said.

Hope scoffed.

'And that's why I like to ask.' Hope said rising.

'This time it was the 14th of February.' Noel gestured to himself, looking far too pleased.

'I'm guessing that's supposed to mean something? Another holiday? Or did you decide to die on your birthday, again. That's really great, Noel.'

'Party pooper.' Noel said, taking Hope's hands.

'It's Valentine's day.'

Hope only shook his head, but at least having the courtesy to look sheepish.

'It's a day when you spend time with your loved ones and even give chocolate to them. But what better present to give than yourself, right?' He gave Hope's hands a squeeze.

Hope had bristled immediately, trying to tear his hands from him. Noel let him.

'Hope?'

'You're s- so stupid! Y-You'd think being dead would make me happy?' Hope's voice shook.

Noel swallowed, the reaction was as he expected. He'd lost count of how many times they had this argument. It didn't matter what day, month, year, or even any special event he used as an excuse to see him. The conclusion was always the same, he could only hope that Hope wouldn't punch him in the face.

Noel stepped forward latching onto Hope's finger tips, speaking softly, 'I know Chaos isn't great company and when I remembered…I couldn't stop thinking about it. I don't want you to be alone.'

'I-,' Noel began again, his hands trembling.

Hope shook his head and tugged Noel even closer, the tips of their toes kissing. He pressed their foreheads together as they stood there surrounded by the remains of Nova Chrysalia and the dark ocean leading to new life.

'I know.' Hope said.

Neither of them wanted to move.

Something was off. Noel had perched himself on the edge of the stone platform, dipping his foot into the water. Hope, hadn't come to see him and he had no way to tell how long he spent waiting for him. He stuck his foot deeper into the water and sighed. When he had last left Hope had disappeared for a while before he came back to unceremoniously shove him into the water. His voice had sounded strange as he was sent off. If Hope did that again Noel was going to drag him down with him.

Noel perked up upon hearing the sound of footsteps on stone. He turned to see Hope walking towards him at a brisk pace, starlit cape trailing behind him.

'Wasn't sure if you were angry or not.' Noel said.

'You, Noel Kreiss are wasting the effort and sacrifice Serah, Hope and the many others have made. This world was born anew so you could have the luxury of choice. Your frequent disregard is beginning to tire my patience.'

* * *

End Notes

Was originally published on A*3 late February for White Day but here we are.

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	4. Wishes - WotRU

**Chapter 4: Wishes**

* * *

Summary

For the Goddess is dead and someone must take her place

* * *

Notes

Throw away humanity

* * *

'Do you have a wish?'

Noel had found Hope sitting on the broken steps of Etro's throne looking up at the swirling chaos.

'Used to have many. Just one right now.' Noel replied as he sat down next to him.

'Shame it can't come true.' Hope said.

The Chaos meandered in fluffy looking clouds, seeing it like this almost made Noel forget how destructive it could be. First-hand experience from wallowing and searching for Chaos during the end of time was a fast way to get educated on its nature. It was like the ocean, calm yet ferocious when it wanted to be. It was made from people's souls and Yeul's wishes after all.

Noel leaned back propping up his hands on the stone. 'Once I remember in that world I wish it every day. I know you want it too.' He said.

Hope stands, his cape brushing against Noel as he walks up the stairs. 'Why don't you cherish the time we spend here?' Hope asked.

'It's not enough.'

'Don't you thi-'

'You're always pushing me into the ocean.' Noel continues, 'knocking me out then pushing me into the ocean, saying how you'll ignore me so I have to push myself into the ocean.'

Hope snorts.

'You're only hurting yourself.'

'Didn't I tell you I'm not really human anymore?' Hope quipped, sat comfortably on the throne.

Noel craned his head back to glare at him.

'If only Lightning knew what you're saying…'

Hope gave a small smile. 'She does. And she got another chance to be human again.'

Noel swivelled around to see Hope playing with the crack in the arms of the throne. He did remember too. How Lightning felt she wasn't human any more. The 'Saviour' wasn't a title given to a human after all. Lightning, Hope, they did the same thing to save everyone.

Hope sighed. 'Seems like Bhunivelze loved her a lot if she could have a second chance.'

Sometimes it scared Noel.

'We all defeated God. You were there Hope.' Noel said.

'But is this my second chance at life? Throw away my humanity and become a god? Maybe I love you more than Bhunivelze loved Lightning.'

Noel swallowed. 'Hope, do y-'

Hope smiled widely, head cocked to the side.

'That's not a wish for myself.'

* * *

End Notes

Cheshire cat smile for a false god

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	5. Overflowing - WotRU

**Chapter 5: Overflowing**

* * *

Summary

For the Goddess is dead and someone must take her place

* * *

Notes

It wouldn't smell sweet.

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'You're small.' Noel said.

'To me, your existence is small.' Hope countered.

Noel hummed in response. Today it was this. A smaller version of Hope who looked exactly like the one who had begun his journey as a L'Cie. Or at least that is what Sazh had told him. In short he was adorable. Though under these circumstances Noel wasn't sure he could call him that, or at the very least until Hope came back.

When Noel had awoken he didn't find Hope nearby and so he had to search all the places he would usually be. The garden had changed from when Noel had last seen it. The bellflowers, loosestrifes, daises and various other flowers now sat by the edge.

Dark pink rambling roses had overtaken the garden, creating a sea of pink that clashed with the flowers at the edge. Noel stood by the former residents, looking upon the boy sitting in the middle. Hope was surrounded by dozens of dark pink rose petals. Each torn and scrunched as he ripped petal after petal off, staining his hands and clothes pink.

Noel had already asked one of two questions floating around in his head. He could guess the answer to the second. He sat down in front of Hope, keeping some distance from his legs and the mass of mauled roses.

'Vanille's gonna be mad when she sees what you've done to the garden.' said Noel, his voice light.

Hope moved his head sharply, luminous green eyes flashed at Noel. He looked wild.

'You think I care about the opinions of such vermin?' Hope spat.

Noel watched Hope tear more roses apart in silence. He could never get used to this; he thought picking up a half torn rose. He took a look around the area. Each time Hope picked a rose another took its place.

'Did Light-.' Before he could even finish Hope had thrown a handful of petals at him.

'You may not speak her name, Noel Kreiss.' Hope scolded.

Noel tore a petal in half, sighing.

Hope continued ripping the roses with increased fervour. The small pieces flew into the air, appearing to be closer to red than pink.

Noel was sure Hope would regret it later. The small patch of grass not far from Etro's throne had become sanctuary. A place of comfort for when Hope needed it most and reminder of home. It wasn't much but Hope had affectionately called it his garden when he first presented it to Noel. Hope had later told him a man wearing many leather belts had helped him choose what to plant. The flowers sometimes changed but the roses, bellflowers and a small collection from Pulse remained.

'Hope.' Noel called.

He continued on.

'Hope.'

He struggled to tear apart a stem.

'Hope!'

He halted sucking in a breath. Abandoning the rose stem, Hope buried his hands into the tattered petals.

Hope's voice shook as he spoke. 'Do you think...I could become like her?' He surged forward grabbing fistfuls of petals, pressing them harsh against his hair.

Noel moved soundless, kneeling before Hope. He felt the damp petals seep into trousers as they were crushed under his weight.

'She wouldn't you to.' Noel tried to keep his voice strong.

Hope stilled and let his hands drop down to his lap.

'I need to-... She bet-...' Hope stuttered, eyes flashing green.

Hope shook his head. He stood up, wincing at the sight of Noel's pained expression. Hope moved closer, sliding his hands through Noel's hair to cradle his head. He pressed a kiss into his hair, burying his face as his own shoulders began to shake.

'It's okay,' were all the words Noel needed to say before Hope started crying. He sunk to the ground as Noel enveloped him into a hug. The arms around him reminded him of his friends, his family, everything that was so far away, out of reach.

Noel wrapped his arms tight around Hope, his own tears falling as Hope began to wail like a child. Blinking he saw flowers from Cocoon and Pulse burst forth, blooming endlessly.

* * *

End Notes

A stasis of its own.

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	6. Find it Together - TMM

**Chapter 6: Find it Together: Prologus II - TMM**

* * *

Summary

For the Goddess is dead and those memories cannot be left to fade.

* * *

Notes

Sometimes he wonders if the dreams really mean anything at all

* * *

'You were talking in your sleep.' Riku said, leaning on a hand.

'You've been doing it for a while actually.'

Noel scowled at him unable to give a comprehensible response. Springtime in a classroom that always faced the sun meant prime sleeping conditions. However, Noel's morning before class nap was time and time again disturbed by his classmates. It made him wonder why he bothered to even try in the first place. In a school on an island everyone knew each other or as Sora's nihilist twin would say "everyone knows of each other."

Riku rolled his eyes continuing his pursuit.

'Who's Hope?'

The boy next to him stretched, draping himself over the desk. He had been having some weird dreams lately, but he wasn't going to admit that to Riku.

He let out a sigh and turned his head too look at him.

'That's none of your business,' mumbled Noel.

With raised eyebrows Riku looked at Noel and turned away facing the front.

'Fine don't tell me. It's not like Tidus will find out and then make up some dumb plan to try and get you to talk.'

Noel groaned into the desk. Tidus, self-proclaimed inventor of butz ball always had good intentions. Sometimes he went a little too far and ends up dragging other kids like Sora into his schemes. 'Recipes for disaster,' Reynn had called them. The worst was always when the disaster combo dragged Kairi into their fray. No one could stop them, apart from the current head of the student council, Aqua.

He felt a hand pat on his shoulder and a reassuring voice.

'Seriously Riku, you have no tact.'

Trey, one of the smartest and most talkative in the class had arrived. He dragged a chair over to sit between Noel and Riku's desks.

'Noel, you'll always have my help when it comes to anything. After all my vast knowledge may be of help to your problem no matter how peculiar you may think-'

'No!' Noel yelled.

'I-I mean it's fine. Thanks.' He added.

Riku scoffed.

'So who is Hope?' Riku said.

Noel scrunched up his face in thought.

'A friend I think. I thought that I knew him when I was younger or something.'

'Well our memories from when we are really little are fuzzy.' Trey began. 'Have you tried asking your grandmother?'

'Yeah, but she said there was no kid called Hope... The only Hope where I live is a neighbour's cat.'

'Hmmm...'

Riku turned his attention back to the front of the classroom.

'You should talk to Sora.' Riku said. 'You two might be- weird in that same way.'

Noel rolled his eyes turning to look at the sky.

'Sure.' He said.

'Now, there really might be some use in asking Sora. He did manage to meet a long lost friend by using information from his dreams. Though…' Trey brought a hand to his chin in thought.

'The probability of it is far stranger. Makes me almost want to believe it's not pure coincidence.'

'Further investigation might prove it was not a coincidence. Their parents did keep in touch with each other, even if the two never met for a long period of time.'

'Noel, you should continue your own investigation. I'm curious to know whether the result be the same as Sora.'

Noel snuck a glance a Riku who appeared to have tuned out Trey and was fiddling with a pencil on his desk.

'Right.' Noel said.

Trey made a noise of approval and returned his chair to its desk. He stood up announcing he'd be back in time for home-room. Noel guessed he was going to see whether there were any class notices. Trey did follow the duties of being the class representative with such enthusiasm no-one protested his re-election in the second term of school.

Noel sat up swivelling in his seat towards Riku and curled his hands into loose fists.

'You, really like Sora don't you?' Noel asked.

Riku was quick as ever. 'Yeah, he's my friend.'

'So if he suddenly moved you'd be sad right?'

'Yeah.'

Noel's eyebrows knitted in thought.

'What happened to Hope?' Riku asked.

'I think he moved away. Really far away.'

Riku didn't push the topic any further. It appeared to be a touchy subject for Noel he too had moved around a lot before settling on the island.

'You wanna find him?'

'I don't even know his last name or even if 'Hope' is his name. It's like he's Casper or something.'

Riku snorted at that, standing up from his seat.

'Talk to Sora. He may be kinda dumb but he's good at finding things and people.'

'Can you come with? I need a voice of reason.'

'Van went to see Aqua.' Riku said

Noel sprang up ignoring the smirk on Riku's face.

'We've still got time so let's go!'

Riku hesitated by the door.

'You know…I'd thought…you would rather talk to Claire about this kinda stuff.'

'I would. I mean will, but you're my friend too.'

Noel threaded his hand through the hair on the back of his head.

'Besides, you're here aren't you?' Noel said.

Riku grinned, opening the classroom door.

'I guess I am.' He said.

* * *

End Notes

For now, see the new world and not pursue memories of the past.

* * *

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	7. Starlight Mirage - TMM

**Chapter 7: Starlight Mirage - TMM**

* * *

Summary

For the Goddess is dead and those memories cannot be left to fade.

* * *

Notes

Delusions in the heat haze even at night

* * *

The humidity was too much. Noel fanned himself with his hand, cursing himself for not bringing an actual one. The heat haze of summer was upon them and the small island was subject to uncomfortably humid nights. He considered turning around, back down hiking trail. Further away from the abandoned house, his destination.

He picked at the T-shirt clinging to his body. Backing out now wouldn't do any good. Noel doubted there was anything scary about the building. No ghosts, spirits or monsters of any kind would await him there. Well maybe the monstrous forms of two older students drenched in fake blood and dressed in raggedy clothing will lurk nearby.

Noel wiped his hand on his shorts and wished he was back home. His chilled, air-conditioned home. He had talked big to his friends and volunteered to go first. A decision Noel now regretted. The moonlit sky did nothing to ease the stifling heat of summer.

A glint of light in the corner of his eyes caused him to turn. There was nothing in the forest. He walked onwards. Ghosts aren't real after all. A fantasy.

Another glint of light whirled him in another direction.

'A torch?' Said Noel.

There was nothing in the forest and so he carried on.

Noel is closer to the abandoned house when it happened for the third time. Expect it didn't really feel like it happened mere minutes ago. It was familiar in the same way you find a lone sock in the corner of your drawer, the other half already long gone.

When his eyes caught sight of the light again, it didn't fade away or flash before his eyes, whisked away by some invisible force. He stared for long enough to see it was not just light, but the end of some sort of train. It's all golds and silvers with tiny specks of bright white light.

Noel blinked. There is nothing there.

He walked closer to the house, moving up the steps to the front porch. He sighed.

'You can come out now.'

Noel waited for an answer, rustle of leaves or a shuffle of feet. He hears nothing at all. Noel looked around the house, cautious, expecting an ambush. He can't hear anything but himself.

He felt panic beginning its unforgiving creep. It seeped into movements, making them sharper, more harried. After turning and twisting looking for something, anything, he stood there with his back to the house. Sweaty palms gripped his t-shirt.

Noel felt his heart leap at the sight of the train. His breath hitched as he tried to ask who was there. He kept his eyes fixed on the train; it never disappeared when he blinked. He had a sudden delusion considering if ghosts really were real. Noel moved closer to the edge of the clearing. The train appeared to be partially hiding behind a tree. He walked further still and saw something else entirely, concealed by the bushes.

A hand.

It was paler than his own, paler than anyone he knew, paler than he thought humanly possible.

It too appeared to be radiating light, just as the train. Noel reached out to touch it. The hand twitched and by the next blink it and the train were gone. A pang of hurt caused him to clench his hands until fists. He didn't understand why.

Noel squeezed his eyes shut and counted to ten before opening them again. He surveyed the area, trying to find the train. There was nothing in the forest.

Noel exhaled loudly and glared into the forest. He wondered if the heat had finally turned his brain into mush and now he was seeing things. Ghosts, spirits and monsters weren't real, he told himself.

A figure adorned with a starlit cloak lifted a finger to their lips in a silent hush, told him otherwise.

* * *

End Notes

Could you call it anything but a ghost or spirit?

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	8. Lingering Effects - WotRU

**Chapter 8: Lingering Effects - WRU**

* * *

Summary

For the Goddess is dead and someone must take her place.

* * *

Notes

Memories of 169 years - I

* * *

Something was off. Noel had perched himself on the edge of the stone platform, dipping his foot into the water. Hope hadn't come to see him and he had no way to tell how long he spent waiting for him. He stuck his foot deeper and sighed. When he had last left, Hope had disappeared for a while before he came back to unceremoniously shove him into the water. His voice had sounded strange as he was sent off. If Hope did that again Noel was going to drag him down with him.

Noel perked up upon hearing the sound of footsteps on stone. He turned to see Hope walking towards him at a brisk pace, starlit cape trailing behind him.

'Wasn't sure if you were angry or not.' Noel said.

'You, Noel Kreiss are wasting the effort and sacrifice Serah, Yeul and the endless others, have made. This world was born anew so you could have the luxury of choice. Your frequent disregard is beginning to tire my patience.'

If Hope never acted oddly, Noel was sure this would come as a surprise. This however was new. He had been on the sharp spoken side of Hope before. In particular every time he and Serah decided to take a risk or on the off chance he did something reckless. Depending on the year, they had to be careful not to do anything deemed risky, or reckless near Academia scientists and general employees, as Hope had sent out a request to keep an eye out for them. Hope had understood whys but still scolded the both of them.

'What happened to 'I could do this all day?' Noel bit back.

'He is far too soft on you. I could very well force your existence to cease. You will have no more reincarnations, no more- '

'Then, who knows what will happen to this place.'

Noel knew he was acting smug but he knew if anything Hope truly didn't want him to disappear forever. Even if he was far too stubborn to admit that.

Hope placed a hand on top of his head, fingers threading through his hair.

Unnaturally Bright green eyes narrow, 'You are a nuisance.'

'You know, for some reason I really don't believe you.'

He felt Hope freeze and for a brief moment he wondered if he was a duplicate.

Noel sat still, resisting the urge to move.

'I can do it. I should do it.' Hope said frowning, looking off, somewhere past him.

Noel couldn't help the grin pulling at his lips.

'Then why don't you?'

'Why...'

Luminous green eyes bore into his. If Noel had to be honest it was creepy how much he wasn't blinking.

'You have a mere percentage of the strength, of the sheer audacity she once had.' Hope continued.

'You are not stronger than me, you cannot hold any power over me. This realm is mine to control.

Then why…' Hope trailed off.

Noel didn't want to pity him. Not after all what he had done. There were no real Gods here, not in this place. He reached out and pulled on the hand by his side, it happened easily with no resistance. Noel tugged the hand off his head intertwining it in his own.

'Don't think about logical reasons, you're not going to find any answers there. Though I'm sure you already knew that. Think about what you feel.' Noel said, fist tapping his chest twice.

Patience was something his grandmother and Caius always tried to teach him. Be patient or you will that hole you're trying to sew up will not last. Be patient otherwise you may lose your prey. Have patience or you can be insensitive to someone else's feelings. He could vouch for having done that too many times. Even to someone who everyone thought was a bit too similar to him.

He should take a leaf from Serah's book.

'What is it you want to do? The idea of ruling together is… not entirely absurd.'

The idea of Bhunivelze warming up to him was.

'This realm is timeless but that doesn't mean there isn't a yesterday or a tomorrow. Something that happened a while ago, you'd still call it a memory, wouldn't you?' Noel nudged him on.

'So, all the time we spent surely meant something?'

Noel laughed. 'Yeah, it did. It does.'

'I remember everything. I cannot forget. I know you are unsuitable to stay here.'

Every visit always came down to this.

'Do you really think about that all the time?' Noel said exasperated, pulling his hands away.

Hope cocked his head to the side, eyes unblinking.

'If it is your desire, your wish to stay here, you could.' He smiled, lips stretching wide.

Undeterred by Noel's mild aversion he carried on.

'The Chaos sings to you. It calls you to the end, the Last Hunter. You could become strong. Be free to roam wherever you wish. Wield power far greater than those you once knew. Perhaps close enough to become a God.'

Noel stood up, backing close to edge of the platform. He questioned if this was how Lightning felt and made a mental note to ask her. Wasn't Bhunivelze the one who wanted to purge the world of Chaos?

'You don't want that, not really. I just want to be by your side.' Noel gestures, 'wherever that is.'

'But I do. Noel Kreiss, I remember everything, what I see, do, hear, thoughts and feelings included. I too desire it. You are a worthy candidate.'

Even it was true it didn't feel entirely right. Hope's feelings were being mixed in with Bhunivelze's. It didn't make them any less genuine but it was unsettling to see them act as they did. Noel knew how conflicted Hope was about him wishing to stay.

Noel wasn't sure if he felt the air surrounding him becoming warmer or if it was his own body. There was no rush of adrenaline just a shift, a change in atmosphere. He should feel unnerved, the idea of Bhunivelze having such desires should be absurd. It wasn't. Noel had seen it before, he recalled the conversations he had with Lightning and Vanille. Though he wasn't sure if it was because the god has spent such a long time in Hope's body.

Hope's hand stretched out towards him, a precise movement, fingers slightly curled inwards.

'Stay.' He said.

Noel swallowed. A command, an order, or a request?

His own hand twitched by his side. It would be easy, this is what he had always wished.

'You can live in a dream, Noel. You're happy here and could be forever.'

Noel gasped, heart thundering in his chest.

'This isn't the same. Don't talk like Serah.'

'Wishes are dreams, aren't they? In a way Caius was almost impressive, trapping Serah in a world made of wishes.' Hope's eyes glistened.

He felt sick.

Noel thought he could see the rocky land past Hope begin to shift. The world turning greyer, the figure in front of him more blinding.

Hope was strangely patient. His voice lacked any bite and Noel was beginning to wonder if it was Hope speaking to him. He would have to ask, somehow remember what happened. He had heard the story, their story told hundreds of times but he was no god. The small details, they were important. Or he could think about it later, in place with no time.

For once from another lifetime, Noel thought he needed more time.

There was no one he could ask if he was making the right choice. No gates to give second chances and undo what has been done. No looking for a different angle.

He did know he couldn't do it alone.

Noel slid his hand into Hope's, accepting the warm grip. He watched his wide smile dissipate as he stepped off the platform, leaning backwards.

Pulling him along, he whispered in his ear.

'Maybe next time.'

Submerged in the sea, he cupped his hand around Hope's cheek for a moment. Another time Noel would recall the story to Hope, tell how he looked so shocked, how he wondered if that was how Bhunivelze looked when he succumbed to defeat.

Sinking, he recalled his own words he said to Serah.

'All dreams have to end sometime.'

* * *

End Notes

I've already made an oath.

Please leave a review!


	9. There Deep Down - TMM

**Chapter 9: There Deep Down - TMM**

* * *

Summary

For the Goddess is dead and those memories cannot be left to fade.

* * *

The main island always bustled with energy even on quiet days Noel could feel a soft hum. It didn't lead to anywhere in particular and Noel didn't know why he thought it should. One of the smaller islands Noel had tried to follow a current it took him all over the island and stretched far into the sea. It never built up, wavered or dissipated. It was strange.

He had asked a girl who loved to explore the islands and paint if she could feel it too. Namine seemed to understand well enough but couldn't feel it. She felt something different.

When he asked Riku the boy wondered if it was like being 'in tune with nature' or just really observant, to which he scoffed at and commented on how thick Noel could be.

His grandmother at first, said otherwise and warned him not to follow. He was later told it might be a sign from the gods and talked about fate. Noel wasn't sure whether he believed her or not, it would be fun to believe it were true. At least then he could pretend he was a hero from one of his storybooks.

Noel sat on the edge of the platform, his legs dangling meters away from the water. Feet enclosed in strapped sandals swung back and forth as Noel pondered his current mystery. He gazed out towards the sea, watching the boats of various sizes glide along. Did that strange thing go past even the fishing boats further out in the sea?

He laid down, arms cushioning his head as he turned his attention to the sky. Did it stretch far up past the sky into space?

He inhaled the smell of sea and aged wood. Or deep down into the ground?

It didn't seem to do anything other than simply exist.

He felt the thumps of footsteps on the platform and craned his neck back to get a look. He came face to face with the sun and immediately rolled over to cover his eyes.

A hat was shoved onto his head and Noel peeked through his fingers to see the tall figure of Cid obscuring the sun, hair tousled by the breeze.

'Sunglasses?'

Noel scrunched his nose, fingers brushing over the straw hat.

'Don't like them. They make everything the same colour.'

Cid nodded and sat down next to him.

'What's on the agenda today?'

The boy swung his legs back and forth for a moment. 'I'm trying to solve a mystery.' He said, stretching his hand out.

'That thing I keep feeling. Like you got to go somewhere but you don't know why or where.'

'Have any leads?'

Noel shook his head. If he wanted to be honest he would tell him the recent heatwave was making his mind all groggy and sluggish. Although today was far better with the fresher air, courtesy of the wind.

Cid hummed in thought and brushed his fringe back.

'Would you like to come with me? If you can't find any answers here, they may be out there.' He said pointing towards the glistening blue expanse.

Moments later Noel had found himself perched on a seat in the rowboat. His chin rested on the handle of an oar he was holding inside the boat. Cid sat across from him, eyes focused on the fishing rod he was preparing with a plastic critter. With two hands placed firm on the grip he took a swift swing. Noel watched the line soar through the air and land in the water, floater bobbing up and down.

Every time Cid took him fishing, Noel wanted to stick his head under the water and see what it looked it like to catch one.

One hand on his hat, Noel stared into the water. It turned a dark navy-blue blending into black deep down.

He blinked once and it was again, bright.

'The water isn't actually blue is it?' He asked.

Cid shook his head.

'No, not really.' Cid points to the sky. 'It's because of the wavelengths of light. The blue can't be absorbed so to us the sea looks blue.'

'What's a wave length?'

'Hmm, I don't think I'll be able to explain it well enough. Your teacher would know, she'd be able to explain it far better.'

'Right.' Noel said and placed the oar down.

If it wasn't night time or any time close, then why did the water look so dark? He felt that same muted hum, that same current, that same urge to follow it, to see wherever it led to. There were answers somewhere. Maybe deep down in the sea bed.

Noel gripped the sides of the boat, leaning precariously down, his knees on the wood of the seat.

'Noel.' Cid warned, the boat tilting.

'Hold on, there's something weird- '

A brisk gust of wind whisked the straw hat from his head and launched itself into the sky. It landed a few mere metres from them.

'I-I can get it!' Noel exclaimed diving into water, muffling any protests from Cid.

It was a simple task. Noel knew how to swim, in fact it was one of the first things he was taught when he arrived to the island. Yet some how no matter how much he paddled or kicked his legs to propel him upwards he just couldn't. Fear hit him in a sudden pang. Seconds later he stopped thrashing. His lungs didn't feel like ice. His legs didn't ache. He felt fine physically.

That current, the soft humming, it wasn't so low any more. It vibrated in his ears, tingled throughout his body from head to toe. He opened his eyes, blinking fast.

It felt like he was falling.

Noel could see the sunlight filtering through the water. It was warm, comfortable and with the current surrounding him, cosy. He reached out a hand as the water turned darker, he wondered what it would be like to touch to those rays of light. He didn't want to leave it.

Through heavy lidded eyes he watched a hand grasp his own. It pulled him closer until it switched hold to around his torso. Determined limbs dragged them upwards to the surface.

Noel coughed and spluttered. He felt disoriented and the world spun as he struggled to ground himself.

'Noel! Noel, focus on me.' Cid's panicked voice rung loud and clear above him.

He blinked wearily, Cid's distressed face coming into view. He hated it. Noel unclenched his hands, only now aware of the vice like grip he had on Cid's wet t-shirt.

'I'm sorry,' was all he could say before his eyes burned and tears filled his vision.

Arms hugged him fierce, pulling him close. Noel tried to reciprocate as much as he could through shaky limbs. A press of lips to the top of his head made him relax further into the embrace.

He tried to gather his thoughts to make some semblance of what happened, to tell Cid what had happened. It was no use, his thoughts were sludge, like the sand on a rainy day.

Slowly, Cid let go of him arms resting on his elbows. He combed the wet hair away from Noel's eyes.

'I think it's time to head back.' He said taking a breath.

Noel scrubbed at watery eyes and pulled himself up onto the wooden seat. He watched Cid gather his fishing equipment and hook in the oars. He rowed back in silence punctuated with the odd cough and Cid glancing at Noel whose eyes were glued out to the sea.

Close to the docks, Noel spoke up.

'I can swim you know.'

'I know.' Cid said with a small smile.

'Sorry I lost your hat.'

'I know.'

Noel turned his head, lips red from being chewed.

'Sorry I…scared away the fish.'

Cid stopped rowing as they reached the dock and pulled in an oar.

'I think you scared me more than the fish.' He said and used the remaining oar to tug the rowboat closer.

He leaned over and ruffled his damp hair as best as he could.

Noel took in a breath.

'It was all weird down there, but I can't- I don't know-' He began his voice scratchy.

Cid shook his head.

'First let's get out of this sun, get you checked over, a change of clothes and food. Then you can tell me. Deal?'

Noel sighed. He felt a little disappointed. There was no chance Cid was going to let him wander straight back out there without him knowing. He didn't want to hurt Cid's feelings either, knowing him he would go straight to his grandmother and tell her everything. Then he wouldn't be able to stick one toe in the water without adult supervision.

Noel stuck his pinkie finger out.

'Promise me you won't tell granny about this. I know I was under for a long time but I don't want to make her worry.'

'So, it's fine to make me worry?' Cid said raising an eyebrow.

'No! I- Ugh, Cid please?' Noel whined.

Cid laughed and stuck out his own finger.

'I won't tell your grandmother and you'll do as I say. Do we have an accord?'

'Not everything you say.' He mumbled, linking their fingers together and squeezing tight.

Cid tied up the boat to the dock, holding it steady while Noel crossed over. He held out his hand for Cid to hand him stuff to carry but he was given an odd look and chided to just relax. So, Noel rested his chin on the wooden pole as he waited for Cid to gather his things.

'How long did you think you were down there for?' Cid asked frowning.

Noel stretched, one arm coming to rest on his hip and the other his chin.

'20? 15 minutes? It felt like ages. I just kept falling.'

'Strange.'

'Huh? How long was I really under?'

Cid's posture mimicked his own.

'You were down there for barely under a minute.'

Noel wanted to argue that it made no sense. How could have Cid got to him so quickly when he sank so far down? He never saw Cid moving through the water to him. No one was there. He wasn't even sure if he could call it drowning. Or maybe part of it was drowning and the rest, the falling?

It wasn't scary at all.

* * *

End Notes

A small adventure for answers,

Please leave a review!

[Please let me know about typos etc. it's unbeated]


	10. World Traveller - WotRU

**Chapter 10: World Travellers - WotRU**

* * *

Summary

For the Goddess is dead and someone must take her place.

* * *

Notes

Guide you to place called home.

* * *

Travellers to the Unseen Realm were a seldom occurrence, or at least that was how Hope thought it to be. There was a girl sitting by the shore. She looked fairly young, a child or teenager, he didn't really have that kind of sense any more. Something was strange. Her heart felt different, the chaos a little different. Absently, he thought he should make some kind of protocol, or general plan to deal with this kind of instance.

Abruptly she stood up, hands clenched into fists. She turned this way and that before settling on the silvery figure on the cliff edge

'Excuse me, are you Etro?' She called, hands cupped around her mouth.

'Huh?' Hope said.

Hope startled edging away from the cliff. It was directed at him? He looked around dumbly, of course it was for him. There was nobody else here. It wasn't the first time someone had asked him if he was the goddess but it was the first someone had called out to him like that, the very least in a while. He needed to check his memory on that.

He wasn't aware of moving until he was half way down the slope connected to the shore. When he arrived within a reasonable distance the girl spoke again.

'Are you Etro, the goddess? Hmm, but you don't really look like her.' She said bringing a hand to her chin.

'I'm not, but I do oversee this.' Hope said, raising a hand in gesture.

'So, you're not Etro? Do you know Enna Kros? She said we could find Etro if we ever got lost here.'

'Lost? Where do you think you are?'

The girl glanced around. 'This isn't Valhalla, is it?'

Hope shook his head.

The girl's eyes widened.

'Then, where am I? I need to get back to my brother. I can't leave him out there!' She rushed forwards towards him.

'Hold on.' He placed a hand on her shoulder.

'You're in the Unseen Realm, the resting place for souls of the dead.' Hope said.

'I'm dead?' She said, her voice small.

She jerked back, body tense.

'There's no way I'm dead! We were just travelling, visiting another world like we always do and then- Tama would always bring us back home!' The palms of her hands dug into her eyes.

'Lann...' She said sucking in a breath.

Hope frowned. He had come across people from other worlds before, there had been a few who were separated, looking for friends and family. Then there were those few travellers who held power of their own, allowing them to leave. The key was in their hearts, one had said. Still, he couldn't help but feel for her. If she couldn't leave, she would have to make a hard choice.

'Who is Lann?' He asked.

The girl wiped her eyes, one hand fiddling with the hem of her skirt.

'He's my brother. My dumb, dumb, twin brother.'

Green eyes drifted away from her to the garden in the distance.

'I need to get back. I can't... Where's Etro?' She asked. 'Etro can grant wishes, can't she?'

If only it were that easy, Hope thought.

'Etro is dead. Through circumstances I took her place.' Hope said looking down. 'But I, I'm sorry, I don't have that kind of power. If I did I wouldn't-' He cut himself off, it was a futile thought.

'You're not a god?'

'You think I am?'

'Well considering the ones I've met.' She shook her head. 'That doesn't matter. If you can't do what the goddess does, then what can you do?'

Hope wanted to know the answer himself, honestly.

The Unseen Realm had no actual appearance, or as so the tales told. Yet somehow, he was able to manifest some kind of island. He knew it looked somewhat like Valhalla and it was possible his mind drew upon its likeness. A place to keep tethered to, maybe even ground him. His own form was like that too, made up of the garb worn by her servants and the stories told. How much of it was Etro's own doing and what he thought Etro would do, was muddled.

Useful for him but not for Etro. She was here in this abyss by herself. A god's life certainly was lonely judging by the stories. But he wasn't a god?

'If you can't go back, I can ask you if you wish to be reincarnated or end your cycle and return to the Chaos.' Hope said, almost regretting the words as she bristled.

'But that's dying isn't it? That's saying goodbye to who I am right now. I can't leave him and Tama just like that!'

Hope felt an uncomfortable feeling rise. 'You might have to, you can't stay here forever.'

'No. No. No! That's my brother, my friends! After everything we've been through, it can't end like this.'

He really did want to help her.

'I'm sorry-' She cut him off with a scathing glare.

'If you're here acting as some kind of gatekeeper you must have some kind of power, right?'

'I'm not Etro, but...I've never tried.' He trailed off, hand gripping his chin in thought. 'You're not from here, are you? The Chaos inside you, it feels different.'

It seemed to have calmed her down a little. She sighed and sat down on the ground, drawing her legs in close.

'We come from a place called Grymoire but we've been doing some travelling. Sometimes we can help our friends by fighting for them but if we fall, Tama brings us back home to Nine Wood Hills.'

The power to travel to different worlds, maybe it was similar to how Serah and Noel used the gates to travel everywhere. How was Tama able to do that? Was it similar to calling an eidolon when a l'Cie was on the brink of death? A power created by a god from another world.

The girl sniffed and dried her tears. 'I can't be dead. This must be another way of touching souls? Maybe I'm dreaming or is this a different realm of fantasy?'

'Uh.' Hope was lost. What did she mean by _touching souls_?

She looked up at him with wide eyes, hands laced through dark blonde hair.

'If Tama disappeared somewhere else does that mean Lann and Serafie are alone together?'

She jumped to her feet with renewed determination, 'I have to get back. There must something you can do with your powers! Etro or not you're the closest chance I have.'

Hope blinked. 'Well...' He surreptitiously turned his head away. 'It's a possibility, but I've never tried, I don't even have full control over this-'

An all too familiar voice called out in the distance.

'Hey! I have a hilarious story to tell you!'

Hope didn't bother looking to see who it was.

'Ignore him.'

'Okay?' She said slowly, tilting her head to the side.

'Etro could open gates to let people through, it didn't matter what realm you were in. That's how she could travel between them and how she brought people to her. The other times when people came from a different world, they always left using their own abilities. I don't even think I got to talk to them for as long I have with you.'

It was strange. As seldom as the occurrences were, he couldn't help but feel as if something or someone was pulling them here. Bhunivelze had been dealt with for now, at least, so what was it? Maybe his suspicions were un-grounded, just lingering feelings from having to go against their own makers.

'If I could do the same, I'd be able to return you home.' Hope said.

The voice came closer, belting out his name. Hope felt his cheeks heat up.

'Um, shouldn't you answer him?' She asked glancing back.

He shook his head, crossing his arms, head bent low in thought. If time gate were created by distortions and people were given the power to pass through them maybe the same could be created for gates to other realms. Open a gate from the Unseen World to another, like Etro did, like how the eidolons came to them form Valhalla. It sounded simple enough. Create a gate to another world, using her home as a tether, something to focus on.

'If I can make all of this unconsciously, then if I concentrate, just maybe. He faced her, eyes alight with a glimmer of hope.

'But the same might not work for you, right? What are we going to do if it doesn't work?' She said, sceptical.

'Well,' he smiled, 'you have to hope, don't you?'

The girl rubbed her eyes one last time and took in a deep breath.

'Right!' She said determined.

Hope took a step back, eyes looking up toward the inky depths.

'A miracle to take you home.' Hope murmured and stretched his hand out.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on some kind of gate, what it would feel like. The closest memory he had was summoning Alexander, the shattering of an eidolith, the surge of power that came from it. Opening your heart with strength and vulnerability, to something that was considered a gift from the goddess. He recalled asking Vanille what it felt like for her and it was the same. It was a rush of warm light that tingled throughout your body, invigorating and solacing at the same time.

The world became bright behind closed eyes.

'What is that?' He heard Noel's voice whisper close to him.

'You did it.' The girl said in awe.

Hope opened his eyes to see golden light filtering through the endless black. He felt a flash of panic at the shape, reminiscent of His design. The intricate white-gold light flickered like a candle as he gasped, his feet ready to drag him far away from it. An arm dragged him close into a one-armed hug, cheek squashed against his own. Hope leaned into him, grateful for the distraction.

'Who knew you could do that, huh?' Noel said, his voice full of wonderment.

Hope snorted, untangling himself from Noel.

'Neither did I.' He turned back to the girl gazing up at the gate.

'Ready to go? It should take you to Nine Wood Hills or at least close enough. Can't keep Lann and the others waiting, can you?'

The girl nodded.

'I'm ready.'

She stepped closer to the light, making sure steps.

Turning around to face them with a grin, she spoke, 'Thanks for all the help, Hope!'

She began floating up towards the gate in the sky.

'I really hope you find them again-' Hope hesitated realising he never asked for her name.

'What's your name?' He called out.

She looked surprised as she floated further and further up. With hands cupped around her mouth she shouted back.

Behind him Noel waved goodbye, belting out his name in the process.

Seconds later she passed through the gate, it shut and vanished from the sky, leaving the pair on the ground dazzled.

Hope blinked, letting out a sigh of relief.

'Well, that's not something you see every day.' Noel placed a hand on his hip, still gazing up at the sky. 'Did she come from another world?'

'Seems like it.' Hope said turning to him. 'Did any of those names sound familiar?'

Noel cupped his chin. 'Hmm, Lann did? I remember being in a school with these kids who all looked related but they weren't.'

'Huh? That's strange.'

A moment passed before Hope began walking up and away from the beach. Noel caught up to him quickly, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

'So, can I stay?' He asked.

Hope shoved him off, thoughts wandering off to travellers in other worlds. He wondered if someone, or if some people were taking notice of who what he was.

* * *

End Notes

And so, yearning for a distant light beyond reach ailasyrhc avon dnoyeb ...

[Might be revised]

Please leave a review!

[Please let me know about typos etc. it's unbeated]


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